The Beginning of My Pregnancy

So you’re here because you’re interested in my story… 

I’m here because I want to share it and I want others that have gone though what I did (or may be in my shoes in the future) that they are not alone… 

On Friday June 12th, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive (wahoo!!), a moment I’ve been waiting for for about 6 months. I didn’t have a doctor, I didn’t know what to do so I trusted in one person who I was with for the previous week to help guide me and she sure did. (Thanks Amanda <3)

My husband, Brian, was out of town on a bachelor party and I wanted to tell him the news in person… in a cute way of course. He had already been pushy about me “peeing on the stick” since he knew Aunt Flow didn’t come to visit just yet but I kept telling him I would pee on the stick when he gets back - little did he know. HA! 

Brian had a package arrive just before he left for his trip. I opened it up, placed a onesie, my pregnancy tests (yes I took multiple) and a card inside of the package. When he got home, he was tired, he did not want to do anything and pretty much had no interest in opening the package. UGH! I found my words to urge him to open it and he eventually did… so so slowly. But, of course, once he realized what was inside he was shocked, excited and the flow of extremely happy tears entered the picture. 

Every ultra sound we had before I hit the 12 week mark was incredible. We were amazed that a baby is actually growing in my tummy. When it was time for my 12 week ultrasound, both Brian’s mom and my mom attended with us. As always, I was anxious for the appointment praying that everything would be okay. I had a really weird feeling this time around. The ultrasound technician was a different gal than I usually had and I just suspected something was not right. I ended up calling a few hours later to have my doctor go over the results with me….

Around 5:30PM the day of my 12 week appointment, I received a call from my doctor. This was also the first time I have spoken to my doctor as I had not had the opportunity to meet her in person yet. She told me I showed three abnormalities in my ultrasound. My NT (nuchal translucent) measurement was at 4mm, they couldn’t see the nasal bone, the heart rate of my baby at 130 BPM was concerning and may be an indicator of a possible miscarriage. These abnormalities also signaled for a possible chromosome disorder. 

I was absolutely devastated. I was filled with emotions I have never felt before. I felt hopeless and that I did something wrong. I wasn’t next to Brian when I received this news. In fact, I was on my way to play Bunco. (Yes, I’m in a Bunco group and you should be too.) I called him, we cried together, we tried to lift each other up but our hearts were broken. I immediately went home to him and again, we cried, we prayed, we stuck next to each other the entire night. My eyes fill up as I rewrite this experience because it was one I wish that no one has to encounter. 

That night we read other people's stories, did our own research and I know Google can be the enemy but in this case, Brian and I found hope. This is another HUGE reason I want to share my story. I want other future Mommies to not lose their hope or faith. 

The next morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office letting me know I was scheduled to see a high risk doctor that day. My appointment was only a couple hours after I was called so Brian and I prepared ourselves and were on our way. 

I was scared, emotional and desperately wanted more answers. We did a second ultrasound and oh my gosh, the difference in equipment at this place was insane. I saw my baby so clear. The baby looked like a perfectly normal, healthy baby. My three abnormalities turned into one. The nasal bone was completely visible. The heart rate was at 138 BPM which was not concerning to this doctor and my NT measured at a 3.3mm. 

Now, anything over 3mm for an NT measurement is high risk for a chromosome disorder. After speaking with the doctor, I was scheduled for a Genetic Counseling session. The information was extremely overwhelming. Our counselor went over every scenario, every test that was available and I could not keep the tears from running down my face. I was still so scared. The session lasted for over an hour and a half. It was long and tiring and by the end of it, I was scheduled to have an amnio test done. 

The next couple weeks, I prayed, Brian prayed, we had so many friends and family member praying for us and those prayers helped more than I could have even imagined. I was given strength and positivity. I went in to my amnio appointment praying I wouldn’t have to go through with it. We did an ultrasound and my measurements looked great. The baby looked great and was so active during the appointment. I decided not to go through with the amnio. I opted for the NIPT test instead. 

I know that there are cases where the NIPT test gives false results, but in my case, I am using it as if it is a true indicator. I wanted this test to just give me peace. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy moving forward. After this entire experience, it was hard for me to accept that I was still pregnant. It was hard for me to think about all the fun stuff like new baby clothes, the baby shower, the gender reveal. It was hard.  

On Friday October 4th I received the call from the Genetic Counselor. My results came back negative of T21, T18 and T13. At this point, it is unlikely that my baby will be affected with these chromosomal disorders. The emotions that came over me are indescribable. I cried happy tears (surprise surprise). But this phone call is what I needed to fully enjoy this time of my life and move forward. 

I know that I am not ever “really” in the clear because of that 12 week NT measurement but this is my reminder I need to be happy, I need to continue to be positive and always trust in God. We still have extra appointments with the high risk doctor but I feel relieved. I feel that I can enjoy this time with Brian and that it the most important thing to me. 

Thank you to all the prayer warriors that kept me in their prayers. I know it is because of this type of support we are headed in the right direction. 

Gender of the baby is coming soon...

But First LifeNikki Beck